After being married for many years and going through a devastating divorce, I finally felt confident enough to start dating again about a year later. I was excited, knowing I had given myself the time I truly needed to care for myself both physically and emotionally. It took that full year to release the hurt and resentment I carried from my previous relationship, one that had stripped away my sense of security, trust, self-esteem, and self-worth.
During that year, I explored different ways of meeting people. I went out with my girlfriends to bars, parties, and social gatherings, joined online dating sites, and even went on a few blind dates.
I have to admit, the experience has been disappointing. Many people are still deeply wounded by past relationships. Some have shut themselves down entirely, viewing anyone new as a potential source of pain. They’ve become guarded, emotionally detached, and often inconsiderate.
It made me stop and ask myself: why should I carry the weight of someone else’s unresolved pain? Healing from the past should come before starting a new journey. There are plenty of wonderful people out there who are ready for genuine love and lasting relationships. Not everyone is out to hurt you.
Don’t let the ghosts of your past prevent you from finding someone special. If you’re not ready to date, then don’t. If you’ve been hurt before, you already know how deeply it affects a person—so don’t continue the cycle. Give yourself the time you need to heal. It’s the kindest thing you can do, both for yourself and for the partner you hope to love in the future.
Excellent advice!