The Coronavirus crisis has forced many of us to adjust to dramatic life changes and new family dynamics. To protect our loved ones and help prevent the spread of the virus, we’ve been asked to socially distance, even from the people we most want to be close to. Although we’ve found creative ways to stay connected, the absence of personal contact has been deeply felt.
The COVID-19 pandemic of 2020 is unlike anything we’ve experienced before. We’ve faced empty grocery shelves due to panic shopping, government-mandated stay-at-home orders, and the need to armor up with masks and gloves just to leave the house.
I’ve lived through hurricanes with power outages, property damage, and bare supermarket aisles but this has been heavier. The biggest challenges for me have been constant fear about the health of loved ones (especially my elderly mother and father-in-law who live alone), the loss of a sense of security, financial uncertainty, and the ache of not being able to be physically close to family and friends.
It’s also painful thinking about what others are enduring. Many workers can’t do their jobs from home and are facing overwhelming financial stress. I worry about those who are ill, and those who put themselves at risk every day, healthcare professionals, grocery employees, delivery workers, and restaurant staff. And my heart breaks for families who have lost loved ones. This is a dark and emotional moment for humanity, and the only way forward is together.
I come from a blended family: I have two sons, and my husband has three children, one daughter and two sons. One is married and two are in relationships. Our kids are all adults living on their own, and each month we usually host a themed family dinner to celebrate birthdays, holidays, or simply to be together. We eat, drink, play games, and sometimes do a craft project. With everyone now isolated in their own homes, our gatherings have been put on hold indefinitely. I miss them deeply.
At the same time, I feel blessed to have someone to share this experience with my husband. Like most couples, we’ve had ups and downs, but this time has actually brought us closer. We’re fortunate to be able to work from home, and at first I worried that so much togetherness might drive us crazy. But the opposite has happened. We’ve found our rhythm, and I want to share a few things that have helped us stay connected and grounded. Maybe they’ll help you too.
Tips for staying connected at home:
• Plan your days. Try to make weekdays feel structured and different from weekends. We work out in the mornings, work during the day, make dinner, and unwind by walking, reading, or watching a show.
• Share and compromise. Make room for each other’s interests. When my husband plays video games, which I don’t love, I sit beside him with my iPad to read or watch videos. The point is to be together, not to make everything about one person’s preference.
• Express appreciation. Say thank you. Hold hands while watching TV. Cuddle if you’re up for it. Talk about the future, it’s a reminder that this is temporary and brighter days are ahead.
• Stay connected with others. Have virtual happy hours or video calls with family and friends. It can feel surprisingly close and comforting.
• Make weekends special. Sleep in, make breakfast, go for a hike or bike ride, or work on house projects. So far, we’ve decluttered our basement and started cleaning and painting the garage. At night we try new cocktails and then watch movies, play games, or do karaoke.
• Change your environment. Switch rooms for fun, or spend time outside when the weather cooperates. (Colorado likes to surprise us with snow into May!)
• Take space when needed. Personal time matters. If one of us needs space, we simply go to another room. Sometimes I go for a jog and he practices hitting golf balls in the basement. We don’t do it because we’re upset, we do it because it’s healthy.
• Stay in touch with loved ones. Call, message, or video chat. You can even meet outdoors for a socially distanced walk or sit in separate cars in the same parking lot just to see each other face-to-face.
Social distancing has, ironically, brought my husband and me closer. And when we’re finally able to gather with our kids again, I know I’ll treasure it even more. I’ve learned to appreciate what I used to take for granted, and I hope this experience helps us all come out a little more grateful, connected, and compassionate.