My mother died suddenly in May 2023. Her 80th birthday was just two months away. For the last few months, my siblings and I had been planning a party for her. As you would expect when losing a parent you were close to, her untimely departure left us with a great deal of sorrow.
Puerto Rico was my mother’s home, and I visited her every year. Since her health had declined for several months, I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. Despite struggling with chronic COPD for five years, she passed away due to a massive stroke. As I write this post, tears run down my cheeks as I try to believe and accept this news.
The sight of her lying there as if she were sleeping peacefully made it even harder to bear. I would hope she would wake up in the midst of my heartbreaking grief. It was even more difficult to watch her lowered into her final resting place, knowing I would never see or hear her voice again.
My last visit to the gravesite was on the last day before returning to Colorado because I knew I would not be going back. On that day, I lost both my mother and a part of my childhood. One of the hardest things I had to do that day was say goodbye.
There will be a time for me to move on after this, and I’m sure I’ll cherish all the memories we shared along the way. Not being with her during those last moments, however, will always hurt the most.
Living without those we love is hard. It gives me comfort to think that wherever she is, she isn’t in pain and could possibly be reunited with my father, who passed away 15 years ago and she missed dearly.
Someday, perhaps, I’ll see her again. Until then, my mom, who molded me into the person I am today through lessons she taught me. For as long as I live, I will love and remember you. It is only fitting that you rest in peace as you deserve it.