When Persistence Becomes Love: Helping My Son Find His Way Back to School Success

Several months ago, my 10-year-old son began struggling in school. Assignments were missing, daily work was incomplete or never turned in, and to make matters more concerning, he began lying to me about it. I knew something had to change. I quickly met with his teachers to identify his challenges and work together on a plan to help him get back on track.

I also decided to become more involved in his education. Not because I hadn’t been before, but as he grew older, I felt it was time for him to take full responsibility for his schoolwork. In hindsight, that transition may have come too soon. I realized that even as children grow, a little guidance, structure, and accountability can go a long way.

After his teachers and I developed a make-up plan, I sat down with my son to discuss expectations and the consequences of not meeting them. I also made a commitment to provide encouragement and consistency, hoping it would help him develop habits that would eventually feel natural to him. Each afternoon after school, we gathered his assignments together. I made sure he understood what was required and reminded him that I was available if he needed help. When assignments were missing or incomplete, consequences followed.

Those consequences were tailored specifically to him. For my son, Nathan, that meant losing privileges such as television, computer time, and video games. Reading was his only option. It wasn’t easy for either of us.

During the first two weeks, I saw very little progress and became incredibly frustrated. I felt discouraged and helpless, wondering if he simply didn’t care or was acting out intentionally. Consequences became a daily occurrence, and there were many moments when I wanted to give up. But with the support of friends and family, I stayed the course.

After several weeks and many days grounded, I think something shifted. He began to understand that I wasn’t going to give up on him. Slowly, his effort improved, and even his attitude toward schoolwork began to change. What a relief that was.

The process was exhausting, but it was worth it. Through this experience, I’ve learned that children need clear expectations, and as adults, it’s our responsibility to hold them accountable. When expectations are clearly stated, they’re easier to follow and less likely to be forgotten. I even went as far as posting his chores and responsibilities on the refrigerator door!

Most importantly, I learned never to forget the power of praise. Effort must be acknowledged for children to truly see the value in what they’ve accomplished. One afternoon, my son was beaming when his teacher read him an email she was about to send me, one that praised his progress and encouraged us to keep going. And we absolutely plan to.

Sometimes, persistence isn’t pressure, it’s love in action.